Reach
by Remoyuki
Summary: My name is Hatsune Miku. Today, I chose to end my life. This is my letter to you, whoever might be reading this.


_**Okay, so I have two stories; one out and one not. This is just something I wrote on the side from watching and hearing about suicide. Even though I love comedy and senselessness like no other, I know from time to time, serious issues arise; I don't feel enough people write about this stuff because obviously, it's depressing. However that shouldn't turn you off from writing about it, it's definitely helped me see the world from a different perspective and I just couldn't help it.**_

_**I hope you enjoy it regardless of the topic.**_

_**Listen to Supercell's, "Tsumibito" or "Sinner". I found it and it relates to the story very much, so it'll give it more...depth, I suppose.**_

_**Disclaimer: I'm poor. Nuff said.**_

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_**Reach**_

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Hello, I'm Hatsune Miku. Today, I chose to end my life.

"_Oh my god..."_

I'm writing this... because since you found this, it must mean I'm dead, and you found this on the ground or something. I've tried too many times to talk to someone like everyone says. It doesn't work! How am I supposed to reveal my personal issues with someone who doesn't understand? I only know one person, and she's so helpful, but I know she gets annoyed when I keep talking about my problems. Or _got_ annoyed, I moved schools.

Anyway, I've been contemplating this for over a year. I've wanted to kill myself for a long time, but I never actually did it. It's hard to get into the mindset, but it's not so bad now that I think about it. My life is finally becoming...good.

By good, I mean I can finally get away from all the people who hate me. I can make them happy, and they can make me happy by not bothering me. I'll finally be free.

One reason...is my parents. My dad is nice, but he has a temper and he takes it out on me because I look like my mom. My mom is dead. She was murdered in a mass shooting last month. My step mom likes to talk down on me whenever she can, and when dad's not home, she hits and hits and hits until I can't see anything anymore. It's a good thing she lets me skip school the next day.

My friends, can't really be called friends, either, if that makes sense. They like popularity, so they pretend to be nice to me to get teachers' attention and praise, and then people will like them. Rin and Len are especially mean, when we're alone and I need someone to talk to. Rin likes to be a bitch and says things I don't want to remember, and Len physically assaults me when he can, which leaves random marks all over my body. I don't tell people because then more and more people will come to hate me, since they're so popular. My other friends don't really acknowledge me, but they get mad when I try bringing up my problems for help.

Teachers, what good are they? Ha! They make it seem like they care about what happens to us, but in reality, they just want what Rin and Len want. They want attention and praise and power. Never again. I hate them.

One night, when I was about to go to sleep, there was a knock at the door. I was home alone. When I opened it, it was Kaito. He's been my boyfriend for... I think a year? I don't remember much, I haven't seen him for a while. But yeah, Kaito came over and set down his phone, then turned around and hit me. I don't know why, but I felt like I deserved it. I think he just... got tired of me, and my failure of a person. That night, I lost my virginity. It wasn't enjoyable...

After that he posted pictures to Facebook and Twitter of me, of my body, saying I posed for him even though "he didn't me want to". Everyone called me a whore and a slut, and all the guys started making gestures to me. I had to move schools to get away from it all.

It was okay at my new school, but the others still made fun of me, and the guys always tried getting me to go out with them after what happened. My dad didn't care, he was just mad that I had made him spend money for a new school, and my step mom, the gold digger she is, started increasing her hits. She used a bat once and made a vessel in my eye pop, so I couldn't see for a whole month.

_Whimpers escaped into the rain, the cold wind sending fresh tears onto the paper. "Stop it..." A hand reached out to wipe them, but only served to smear a little of the letters._

I met a girl, she was nice and popular and friendly. Her name is Luka. She made faces at me at first, but then after we were paired up for a project, she started liking being around me. This all changed when she started being outcasted from her friends because she talked to the school's new whore. So she started being mean, saying she wanted to be my friend to learn my secrets.

I was beat up a lot and sent home with bruises and scars, and my neighbor Gakupo tried comforting me which led up to sex. I didn't know he was dating Luka. Rumors spread about me, and Luka would sometimes add fuel to the fire, but I could tell she didn't want to. Luka wasn't like that, she knew better. They hurt a lot though, because I trusted her enough to tell her everything, and out of peer pressure, she released all my inner demons to the world. But I could never be happy, so it wasn't too much of a surprise.

"_I'm not...n-no..." a whisper, followed by the thunk of a door slamming closed. A harsh, short breath brought heat to the cold piece of paper. Luckily, no rain got onto it._

My grades dropped and I didn't go to tutoring, and then I just stopped going to school. My dad hit me a lot more because I was a failure at school, and sent me to a different one, threatening to kick me out if I didn't get anything done.

How was I supposed to cope with it? Everyone knew my name before I introduced myself, and nobody wanted to talk to me. Apparently Gakupo recorded us having sex, but blurred himself out, making it look like I was the one who did it. Nobody liked me, thinking I was only going to talk to the guys for sex, and the girls thought I was some...ho.

My body became frail from being hurt so much, I wondered if, one snowy day, I would just die and be buried in the snow. It sounded pretty nice.

_A gasp. A tear falling onto the ink._

Well, I bought it on Amazon last week and it's finally here. I have it in my other hand, and it's shaking so much... I'm so scared. I'm scared of what will happen when my dad sees it. Will he cry? Be mad? What if he doesn't even care? I don't know.

The others will...win. But, I'm such a failure. I have no talent, I can't socialize right, I've had sex with two guys, one while he was dating someone and I was still kinda with Kaito. I'm so... dirty, and unsuccessful. Nobody wants to be around me now that I'm all over the internet.

Is it wrong of me? To want to be happy? If it is, then why is it so hard to try? To try and endure and pretend like it'll be okay? My teachers don't care about me, I have no friends... I'm so scared of going outside, where people will judge and say things about me that I already know. I don't want to hear stuff that I already know, they act as if... as if I'm denying that I'm gross!

What's the point of living... when nobody is out there to appreciate it? All I've seen is hate and hate and hate and I hate it! I HATE it! No matter what I do, nothing is going to be better. There's no reason to try to reach out for help, what will that do? Okay, I talk about my problems, big deal. That doesn't mean the other person cares, or wants to help.

_The size and handwriting changed a little, eyes widened. "You can't be..."_

I'm so sick of it. So, I have it in my hand and I found a place to put it. Right next to the ceiling fan. It's perfect because I can fit my head in, but it's a little tight. It's good enough I guess.

It's been so... hard... keeping it all in, pretending I was fine. Leading a normal life is too hard. When nobody wants to be my friend, nobody wants to hear me out. There is no God if he likes putting people through this. Nobody deserves this, but I guess I did, huh.

There's nothing I can do anymore... I'm so lost, so scared. I'm writing against the wall. Currently I stand on the top of the stairs, it's a little tight, but it fits. I'm ready to lead a better life. Whoever you are, thank you for reading this far. I'm happy knowing one person has read my story.

I'm not sorry to anyone I've met or would have met. They'll be happy. So I'll sa-

"_Wait. Wait, what? It's done?...You don't – you can't!" A rustle of sheets, more slamming of doors._

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She stared at her with wide eyes, dropping her arms along with the crumpled letter. It slowly fell to the first step of the stairs, leading up to the second flight, where a pair of knee-high black socks were dangling in the air. Her first instinct was to scream, but instead, she took each step, hoping that what she was seeing was a hoax.

"Miku..." she whispered, reaching her arm out to the pale hands at the other girl's sides, gulping loudly. Tears were blurring her vision, making it difficult to keep her balance. Seeing her... feeling her lifeless body hanging... it was torture. "I would've been there for you...I should've…" she whispered over and over, dropping to sit down, feet hovering over her head by just inches. She stared out into space, pale skin brightening from the lack of light coming in from the window above. After a few minutes, she broke out into whimpers, then loud, throat burning sobs.

"Miku!" she screamed, dragging her nails across her hair to try and get the answer out. "Why...I should've...I should've noticed...you were-were...only t-...I'm n-n..ot...ahhh!"

Luka didn't have the heart to look at the man who had burst through the open door, but screamed louder when he broke out into bewildered sobs and chokes.


End file.
